Here we go again.

"The day you finally decide to love me will be the day
after the day I have given up on chasing you"

This is so frustrating. For all those fucking times, all those times i stood by you through hell and back. You knew you always had me. You could have molded me to anything you wanted me to be. I revolved my whole other world to you. our world. & you toke it for granted. fuck. fuck. fuck. I hated that i played the stupid girl for so long. I gave you everything. My body, blood, heart and soul. UGHHHH, I hate myself for allowing this shit to happen again, i should've known, i should've stop this. But no, i gave us a go AGAIN. AND AGAIN you leave my heart bleeding. WHAT ELSE CAN i fucking do. what else...

I thought things were going to be different, i thought i could handle, i thought you changed.
Yet i still kept pushing, still being an optimist. STILL BEING THE PASSIVE PUSHOVER STUPID BITCH. I don't know. Oh my god this hurts soo bad, i wanna throw up. I'm so tired of this shit. Im tired of this cycle.

I love you, but i dont know if i could do this again...
"nothing last forever, but i'll always love you.."