I hate being afraid.

I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society. I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a difference.- Marilyn Manson

your happy, im happy.

Things are looking good. I'm living it to the fulllllllest and i have no regrets :)

" the more you suffer the more you learn"
.. this quote is fucking ridiculous, how many times do i have suffer and how many times do i have to fucking learn.

i should be a damn genius right about now with all this bullshit you do..

Here we go again.

"The day you finally decide to love me will be the day
after the day I have given up on chasing you"

This is so frustrating. For all those fucking times, all those times i stood by you through hell and back. You knew you always had me. You could have molded me to anything you wanted me to be. I revolved my whole other world to you. our world. & you toke it for granted. fuck. fuck. fuck. I hated that i played the stupid girl for so long. I gave you everything. My body, blood, heart and soul. UGHHHH, I hate myself for allowing this shit to happen again, i should've known, i should've stop this. But no, i gave us a go AGAIN. AND AGAIN you leave my heart bleeding. WHAT ELSE CAN i fucking do. what else...

I thought things were going to be different, i thought i could handle, i thought you changed.
Yet i still kept pushing, still being an optimist. STILL BEING THE PASSIVE PUSHOVER STUPID BITCH. I don't know. Oh my god this hurts soo bad, i wanna throw up. I'm so tired of this shit. Im tired of this cycle.

I love you, but i dont know if i could do this again...
"nothing last forever, but i'll always love you.."

everything seems like a dream

Class of `09 let it fucking rain!

My parents and siblings are the shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
I love them with all my motherfucking heart and soull!
at the end of the day, its they who matter the mooost!!!
To all my pinsans, shit you guys are the bombdiggity!
Thanks for coming out and getting soaked!
To my lovesies, I LOVESIES FOR LIFE!
To my girls, i miss yous i still love yous, i'll be seeing you around.

<3
i love my fucking life. let it rain let it rain, nothing can ruin my parade.

making good LOOOVE.
is what its ALWAYS about.
if you don't get it, you don't know me at all.

HOLY FUCKING SHIT.

its already june.
its about time.