knowing theres someone like you out there..

I know my standards are high, but i CAN NOT and WILL NOT settle for less.
I'm 100% sure of what i want, and i don't care how looong i have to wait.. i'll wait


I know what truly matters to me, at least to me..
What's important and what makes me feel good inside.
My little hope. My little happiness.

i will not fall into temptations. i will not. i can not.
i hope i don't have to wait long. =/

i just really want to see what else is out there
this place this area this culture these people...
its suffocating.
i refuse to be stuck here.

So many good quotes in this movie.

I've recently watch The Tracy Fragments movie, its trippy, and not your ordinary movie scene, but it's fucking awesome it makes you think deep and stuff.

Im not ready to be in love.

"One day you fall for this boy. And he touches you with his fingers. And he burns holes in your skin with his mouth. And it hurts when you look at him. And it hurts when you don't. And it feels like someone's cut you open with a jagged piece of glass." - Tracey Berkowitz

I hate being afraid.

I fear being like everyone I hate, I fear failure, I fear losing control. I love balancing between chaos and control with everything I do. I always have a fear of going one way or another, getting lost in something, or losing everything to get lost in. And I fear being a completely acceptable sheep in society. I never said to be like me, I say to be like you and make a difference.- Marilyn Manson

your happy, im happy.

Things are looking good. I'm living it to the fulllllllest and i have no regrets :)

" the more you suffer the more you learn"
.. this quote is fucking ridiculous, how many times do i have suffer and how many times do i have to fucking learn.

i should be a damn genius right about now with all this bullshit you do..

Here we go again.

"The day you finally decide to love me will be the day
after the day I have given up on chasing you"

This is so frustrating. For all those fucking times, all those times i stood by you through hell and back. You knew you always had me. You could have molded me to anything you wanted me to be. I revolved my whole other world to you. our world. & you toke it for granted. fuck. fuck. fuck. I hated that i played the stupid girl for so long. I gave you everything. My body, blood, heart and soul. UGHHHH, I hate myself for allowing this shit to happen again, i should've known, i should've stop this. But no, i gave us a go AGAIN. AND AGAIN you leave my heart bleeding. WHAT ELSE CAN i fucking do. what else...

I thought things were going to be different, i thought i could handle, i thought you changed.
Yet i still kept pushing, still being an optimist. STILL BEING THE PASSIVE PUSHOVER STUPID BITCH. I don't know. Oh my god this hurts soo bad, i wanna throw up. I'm so tired of this shit. Im tired of this cycle.

I love you, but i dont know if i could do this again...
"nothing last forever, but i'll always love you.."