random is never a bad thing!

FTSK 'whoa oh (me vs. everyone)'

So today's weather is AHHHMAZING. - kindof. lolz.

Chill'ed with random people today. Like verrrry random. I find myself hanging out more and more with people i never thought i would. I guess that happens when your 'friends' start pissing you the fuck off. I admit its not always them, sometimes its my own fault. I find any damn exuse to be upset, when i need to suck it up and move the fuck on. He keeps telling how to just go with the flow of things. Its hard when im such an emotional bitch... which sucks cus i heard the older you get the more fucking sensitive we will be. Take our parents for example. Ugh. Its getting better tho.

I was looking at random blogs which lead me to a really cool websit about nails.. here are a couple that i would get =D


Shit is 50 dollars!



This is 30!

Haha yeah its like those asian shit nails. I think it looks hot.
Anyways.. uhhh im pretty up because i had a caramel frappuccino. Bangin as stuff.

Uhms so yeah thats all i really gotta say.
i want summer to come already :(


-oh and my daddy fixed my internet.. =)

sacrifices, and a whole lot of bullshit.

Alright so lent is here to all those who have a catholic faith! I'm still undecided about how i feel about my religion. Obviously not that strong about it, but i decided to sacrifice a a few things in my hectic life. Why am i doing this? I'm not sure. But for some reason, it feels good to let some things go. Or to just put some type of discipline to myself. Whatever it is, it just simply makes me feel good.

So i gave up
1. Myspace and Facebook.
So far so good. even tho there were times that i was this close to slip! I'm like fighting not to go on! so addictive. 0geeez and its only been like 3 days!

2. Give up red meats!
Ex, pigs, cows, lamb, etc! only poultry!

3.Give up cursing...
(did not work out, i had to remove this, lol. i mean c'mn look at the tittle of this blog.)

4, Paying it forward.
Go this idea from Rob. Just simply make myself better... put more effort in alot of stuff i do. Like stuff with family, friends, school, attitude, etc... just try to be more of a better person.

I'll finish the second part of this blog tomorrow, since i have no where else i really can go except youtube, and aim and other non MS & FB sites. oh the joy to self inflicted pains

edit feb28 4:17pm

I feel so confuse. Every time i think im doing the right thing, it ends up being wrong. Or i think its wrong? Ugh i'm completely indecisive about things. I feel like the issues i am going through right now, is not even worth being an issue. But then again, it matters to me.

I think.. I'm mad that it hurts me this much. That i care about it this much. I swear it feels like im always being screwed over like this. Again and again that im realizing that its my fault. I'm just "too nice", and its not like i really say no. It's my fault for assuming you can read my mind when i feel like something is wrong.

Why does it feel like you don't care. People keep asking me why are you still friends with them if you hate what their doing to you so much? -- I guess the only reason i could say is that we had so many memories and so many first times with each other. I'm hanging on. Just because i know how it feels to lose friends and end up regretting that decision. I want to be fully prepared and be without a doubt, positively sure about what i should do.. and right now that's leading me to just move on and concentrate on myself.

Someone pointed out that i am growing up. Stuff their doing is what i did in middle school! Its so lame, and just pathetic. It calls for DESPERATE! Ugh. I feel like im so over it. I'm growing up, i'm not going to wait on them if they don't even have the decency to atleast be a friend to me. Because what kind of friends screw over the others? It's fucked up and you know it. I need neeed to move on. I need to stop being such a pushover, for the fact that you take advantage of me being a pushover. Were seperating in our own ways, and fine.. I'll meet new people and so will the both of you. I've already have. I wil not fuck up my senior year just cus you two did. You think your actions don't affect anyone, when they really do.


... but then again, how would you know if i never open my mouth.

Your toxic comes slipping underr...

Wow, havent wrote in a while. Been pretty busy with school and just to damn lazy to write. I think im probably going to have more time to write in here soon and im excited!

I gotta show you the color of my room that i recently will be painting, so i'll do a before and after pics. =)

Uhm my birthday is coming soooooon ugh i cannot wait.
bye !

superbowl seafood sunday

Alright so superbowl is not important to my family as it is to the other millions of Americans out there.
We didnt have a huge party and foods for it, there was no hype, and to be honest, if my english teacher didnt tell me it was this sunday i would have not even know it was the super bowl.

Today was a typical sunday with really nothing much to do.
Oh except that i really need to study for my english exam yet iam being stupid and procrastinating. Like right now for example.

anyways i went to costco today with the family. I picked up some good seafood to munch on. Even tho my diet starts today.. i still ate what i wanted =(
Its so tempting!

Here are the regrettable yet so satisfying pictures of the food i ate..

Hehehehe, it was gooooood. Especially that shrimp salad! yumyum

My brother agreed! :)

Anyways after costco me and my family went to walmart. I just bought a calendar and something to organize my shit in.

I got this at the art section :)

I put my earring in it.

&then decided to put some of my eyeshadows ... =P

Oh and i decided not to explain about last blog (:
fuck it and whatever drama it brings.

exams are stressful.

Exams are fucking sad. I can't really explain right now because my fucking computer is not working right. The internet is all fucking shitty. Right now i am at barnes and nobles using my sister's friend Mateusz cell phone that has internet. It is working splendidly. No it is not a sidekick or a iphone. Anyways i'll write more when i can. I gotta go back to studying and more studing.. Ugh i pray for a snow storm just to have more time to study. Damn me for my procastination disease. Yes i diagnose myself. Lol cus who knows me better than myself, right? =)


10:09pm
fustrated.

I have no internet in the house and its annoying writing in this word pad for the time being. I'll obviously post this when i do get it back. I have a feeling that my dad did something to the internet just to prevent me from slacking. BUT obviously i am still procastinating even without the damn internet. It just now very very inconvinent. I am so desperate that i went to our local public libary to use the internet, only to find out that MOST of my favorite sites are BLOCKED. It fucking blows. I can't wait to leave this town.

So, my chem-com exam is tomorrow and i have not studied. I have a little, tiny hope that it will snow just enough to cancel school. It is probably not going to snow at all. And I will most likely regret doing this, but i have no motivation to study. I am so worn out. I can't believe i waited last min to study. ugh.

I feel like i never get to fully finish my blogs. Things lately have been so crazy.

I guess for now this is all i have to say, and i will just sum up my week by friday. I hope by then my internet works.
BTW, The office is hilarious! Its fucking brilliant and makes me laugh with joy.

Around 11:22pm
-its not snowing and there are no signs it will snow anytime soon. So, i guess that i will have school and i will most likely take the damn tests tomorrow. Plus, to totally shatter all my hopes, my mother came up to remind me even more that there will be school since the news didnt report anything about having no school.

blah i need to take a shower.

Sundays are dreadfuulllll.

2:18pm
Church was uncomfortable as always. Gabe was with us this time. My baby brother may just be one but sure has a loud mouth of a 10 year old. Boy can he scream when he is mad. Most stubborn spoiled cutest twerp in the world.
Anyways i saw old new and not so good friends. I didnt stop much to say hi. I left before it was completely done to get the car and bring to the front cus mother was complaining how cold it was for my brother. So as always, (finding any excuse to leave early) I got the car. I feel bad. I wish i had a better faith, and felt strongly about religion as most people. I guess im not one of them. I hate it when mother forces me to go. I wish she could make me decide for myself.

Im mad that i ate a gallon today. This morning i controlled myself not to have rice before we go to church and so i ate a bowl of cereal. I was very pleased. Then after church i ate the damn rice and beef. I say i ate more th 5 bowls! fuckitty fuck fuck. so thats like 30 pounds there! ugh. i swear. starting right now i will change. I think its cus in new years i didnt really make any effort to change myself or have any resolution. I'll make my list now.

The following, I will NOT....
1. Eat beef till i lose atleast 10 pounds.
2. Eat past 6pm
3. Make pointless conversations with unimportant people
4. FALL OFF THE DIET WAGON.
5. Slip into any temptations with asswholes and jerks.

... for now this. I need to studay for my Alg2 exam tomorrow.

new blog. how refreshing.

Yes im very satistfied with this. Very refreshing. I needed a blogspot. I needed somewhere to jot down the crazy shittyness that clouds my head everyday. I needed somewhere to let out my fustrations and ramble on about pointless shit just so i dont lose my mind and take my fustrations out on my dear friends and family. The previous blog felt to used and damaged and ehhhh. I didnt like the name either. It was all crap. ugh. crap crap crap.

Anyways finals are this week and im going fucking crazy. Im not prepared(as always) and i know shit about what im doing. (meaning im fucking screwed) I dont feel prepared and thats NEVER a good thing. I need this stupid shit of a math class to fucking graduate. i swear this school system is crap. the school is crap. the people a even worse than crap. Ugh. Im so excited to leave yet i know i will miss it. (only of my youth; fuck everything else, i could live without ever going through stupid shit of teenage drama.)

I was at barnes and nobles today, seriously one of my favorite places in union. Its not even in union its in springfield so yeah. I love going there, its so chill. Anyways i was suppose to study for alg2, but lauren had my damn review sheet! lol so at first i tried getting the learning books (like study guides and etc) for the subject but i couldnt concentrate, so i decided to walk around and look for good books i could read. I went to the sex section, i love that section, i was a bit shy when someone would come by, so i pretend i would look at the relationship parts and not so much on xxx things lol. i dont know why i did, maybe cus they would think im some twisted teenager who loves to fuck. Whatever. I stumbled on a couple of good books but one in particular. I was fasinated by this book called "Dairy of a sex fiend" girl with a one track mind by Abby Lee. It was very entertaining and i couldnt stop reading it. I would have bought it, but with this crap recession i decided not to and just come back to read it there. Hehehe think money smart, and thats whaat i wanna start to do.

I wish i had this much to say when it came to my research report paper that i did not do. Another reason why i should study instead of being in the fucking computer. Ugh. I am really starting to concider myself fucking retarted, cus iam always putting myself in these shitty butt crunching situations. GAHWD IM SUCH A MESSS.